Van Helsing – Rating 1 out of 5
Van Helsing – Rating 1 out of 5
This will go down as one of the worst Dracula/Vampire movies of all time. A weak plot, overly done special effects, and too many “novel” characters thrown into one movie make this a must miss film. The only redeeming quality is Kate Beckinsale and her tight outfit, but then again if you want to see more of her you can check out the only slightly better Underworld Evolution.
This movie pulls in every character it can think of, Dracula (who is trying to breathe life into Frankenstein’s Monster), Wolfman (the brother of our fair maiden), Frankenstein’s Monster and even Mr. Hyde makes an appearance in a completely far fetched and unneeded scene.
It’s ridiculous, it’s juvenile and it tries to rip off every movie it can sink its teeth into – Indiana Jones, Bond but yet actually goes nowhere. There is no interesting story, no frights, no scares, no magic.
I bought the deluxe edition only so I could get the original black and white version of Dracula, Frankenstein and Wolfman. The rest of the DVD pack is rubbish.
Other Articles of Interest:
- Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Rating 2 out of 5
- Mary Shelly’s Frankenstein (1994) – Rating 4 out of 5
- Count Dracula – BBC Mini-Series – Rating 3.5 out of 5
- Penny Dreadful Season Finale
- Frankenstein’s castle offers Halloween chills
- Penny Dreadful a new series from Showtime
- The Dead Matter
- Insidious – An interesting tale, but not quite what I expected
- Frankenstein for Free
- Reincarnation – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
The Ring – Rating 3 out of 5
The Ring – Rating 3 out of 5
With its disturbing images and a few good shocks, The Ring is the kind of frightfest you’ll watch to set a chilling mood or spook your susceptible friends, but when you try to sort it out, this well-mounted American remake (of the 1998 Japanese hit Ringu, based on Koji Suzuki’s popular novel) becomes a batch of incoherent parts. The negligible plot follows a Seattle reporter (Naomi Watts) as she investigates the death of her niece, the victim of a mysterious videotape that, according to urban legend, causes the viewer’s death seven days later. (Fear Dot Com borrowed the same idea while avoiding this film’s lofty pretensions.) The countdown structure follows the reporter, her son, and her estranged boyfriend into deepening layers of terror–all quite effective until the movie attempts to explain itself. At that you’re better off shutting down your brain and letting the creepy visuals take over.”
There was a lot of hype over this movie and its deadly plot of watching a video which begins the countdown to your death. I found this movie to be so full of holes and so implausible that it was hard to watch the whole thing. It has an interesting premise and some creepy parts but the movie is so confusing it loses its edge and becomes a mess of unrelated parts.
Too flashy, too Americanized, too blonde… This movie has some good setups for the big scare and some good atmosphere with the creepy sounds and the scary little kids, but overall the movie is rather flat and is hell bent on a journey to no where. By the end of the story when the big explanation comes the movies falls further into the hole of nonsense and I walked away disappointed. What’s more, I watched the original Ringu which is a far superior film in many respects. It sticks with the less is more approach and pulls off a more atmospheric and “uncomfortable movie”.
It’s worth renting, but the hype far outweighs the reality of this film. It’s pretty weak, but could be good late night fodder.
Other Articles of Interest:
- Reincarnation – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- The Grudge – Rating 2 out of 5
- Dead Silence – Rating 3 out of 5
- Thr3e – Rating 3 out of 5
- The Number 23 – Rating 2.3 out of 5
- Imprint – Masters of Horror – Rating 2 out of 5
- The Washingtonians – Masters of Horror – Rating 2 out of 5
- The Hamiltons – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- Time to bring out the scary movies
- Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Rating 2 out of 5
The Grudge 2 – Rating 1 out of 5
The Grudge 2 – Rating 1 out of 5
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…
“In Tokyo, a young woman (Tamblyn) is exposed to the same mysterious curse that afflicted her sister (Gellar). The supernatural force, which fills a person with rage before spreading to its next victim, brings together a group of previously unrelated people who attempt to unlock its secret to save their lives.”
Another completely confusing and poorly acted edition in the J-Horror genre. In this sequel the sister Aubrey goes to Tokyo to determine what caused her sister to go crazy and try to set a house on fire. What ensues is a complete rehash of the first story in the same mindless vain as the first one.
There are no shocking moment, no feelings of fear or dread, no suspense or even that moment when you think something is about to go wrong. The movie is boring and uninspired. The highlight is watching Sarah Michelle Gellar jump out the window. Other than that, the movie isn’t worth watching. The movie goes nowhere, doesn’t advance the story and when we hit the end there is no sense of accomplishment.
This is a waste of film and just like the first Grudge movie isn’t worth watching unless there is nothing else you can get your hands on.
Other Articles of Interest:
- The Grudge – Rating 2 out of 5
- The Washingtonians – Masters of Horror – Rating 2 out of 5
- Imprint – Masters of Horror – Rating 2 out of 5
- The Abandoned – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- The Number 23 – Rating 2.3 out of 5
- Exorcist III – Ranking 3 out of 5
- Saw III
- Count Dracula – BBC Mini-Series – Rating 3.5 out of 5
- Reincarnation – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- American Horror Story
The Grudge – Rating 2 out of 5
The Grudge – Rating 2 out of 5
“It’s not the scary hit that The Ring was in 2002, but The Grudge makes a similarly convincing case for American remakes of popular Japanese horror films. Barely a year passed between the release of Takashi Shimizu’s creepy ghost story Ju-On: The Grudge and the production of this American remake, set in Tokyo and starring Sarah Michelle Gellar in her first post-Buffy horror film. About the only significant difference between the two films is the importing of a mostly-American cast (including Bill Pullman, Clea DuVall and Grace Zabriskie), but The Grudge was reconfigured (by screenwriter Stephen Susco) to allow Shimizu to refine and improve the spookiest highlights of his earlier version, which enjoyed previous incarnations as a short film and two made-for-Japanese-video features. Surprising box-office analysts with a $40 million opening weekend, The Grudge may disappoint hard-core horror fans because it lacks gore and graphic violence, but as a creepy tale about a very haunted house, it’s guaranteed to send a few chills up your spine.”
This movie was crap right from the beginning. Putting Sarah Michelle Gellar in this movie was the first mistake. She seems so out of place it’s ridiculous. With every turn you expect Scooby and Shaggy to come busting into the room or someone from the set of Buffy to appear. If only she would ninja kick the crap out of someone it would have made the movie worthwhile.
Basically there is a house which has had a terrible incident occur and that incident has left a stain. Now, anyone who enters the house suffers the wrath. And the rest of the movie is about as exciting as that description. This movie is boring, it lacks any coherent plot, Gellar acts like a zombie through the whole thing and there is no sense of dread at all.
There is the ploy of the dark and the creepy noises to try and make something out of nothing, but in the end, there is just nothing.
Again, the original Ju-On is fair better than the Americanized version. This is one to skip unless you have run out of movies to watch.
Other Articles of Interest:
- The Grudge 2 – Rating 1 out of 5
- Reincarnation – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- The Abandoned – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- Bram Stoker’s Dracula – Rating 2 out of 5
- The Hamiltons – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- Wicked Little Things – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- The Ring – Rating 3 out of 5
- Dead Silence – Rating 3 out of 5
- Unrest – After Dark Horror Fest – 8 Films To Die For
- Time to bring out the scary movies
Recent Comments